Tears in Eternity
By: Dragonia
“Tai…” Sora said.
“I’m sorry…” he cried into her shoulder as she sat on the ground holding the boy in her arms and trying to soothe him. He hadn’t eaten anything for almost nine days and was very weak. His face had become so pale that Sora almost didn’t recognize him.
‘How did this start?’ she thought as she rocked him back and forth. Tai had been distant lately and no one knew why. She guessed it had happened about a month ago. Tai just seemed to stop being himself. He wouldn’t talk to anybody. Matt, Agumon, herself…not even Kari. Sora knew something was wrong. She should’ve questioned him more…should’ve been there when he needed her. But instead she allowed him to push her away.
Tai had been staying away from everyone as much as was possible in this world. He would simply ignore them while they walked in the day and would run off by himself at night. One time, Sora had asked him if he was eating alright since he was never around when they ate, but he would just tell her he was doing fine and not to worry. She wished she had known. Maybe if she had caught him a little sooner he wouldn’t be in such bad shape now.
“Shh…You have nothing to be sorry for…” she told him, meaning every word she spoke.
“I…I should have been a better leader.” He choked out between sobs. “If I was then we’d be home right now living normal lives and everything would be okay again.” He stopped and just breathed shakily for a few moments before his voice returned. This time he spoke only just above a whisper. “You deserve a better leader…If I die then maybe you’ll get one…”
Cold shivers ran up Sora’s spine. She pulled Tai away from her for a moment and looked at him. A few strands of his beautiful soft brown hair fell limply in jis face. Sora gazed into those chocolate eyes of his that had once held such joy and energy, the same eyes that used to be so full of hope and life. She searched desperately for any remnants of those things that had once been, but now all she saw was pain and emptiness. It broke her heart to see him like this.
“We could never ask for a better leader than you, Tai. Can’t you see that?” she asked. Trying to talk some sense into him. “You’re the reason that we’re still here today.”
“No.” he told her. “I should’ve been a better leader…I should’ve….”
He started sobbing softly again and Sora took him back into an embrace. She whispered words of comfort to him as she tried to hold back her own tears.
Sora glanced down at Tai’s arms and grimaced at what she saw. Long slashes ran up and down his pale skin. Some of them were fresh and still bleeding. Sora had stopped the majority of the blood flow, but it had been hard since Tai was fighting her. She thought once more about how this nightmare had begun.
She and the others had been sitting around the campfire eating dinner. Tai wasn’t there, but that had become nothing unusual in the past month. She had questioned the others about him and Agumon said something that made her and the others gasp. He said that Tai had nearly passed out today while they were taking one of their breaks. He told us that for a whiìe Tai could barely breathe, but he had begged the worried lizard not to tell anyone. This had gotten everyone stirred up and they immediately decided to go off and look for Tai. Everyone but TK, Kari, and their digimon (who had remained at camp) split up individually and began to search in all directions. Something inside Sora had told her to go to the river. It was there that she found Tai.
She had been horrified at the sight. Tai was sitting at the edge of the river with his knees pulled tightly to his chest. Blood ran down his arms and onto his legs. He was holding a razor blade in his hand. Sora ran towards him as he brought the blade up to his arm once again and started to cut. He dug it in deeply. More so than the other times. He had made a sizeable gash and had been starting for his wrist when Sora tackled him to the ground. She slapped the weapon from his hand and pinned him down. Dark red liquid ran through her fingers as she held him. He fought her for a while, screaming at her to let him go. Then he had begun to cry. Sora had briefly tended his wounds and then when she was satisfied that he wasn’t going to die of blood loss, she held him.
‘Why didn’t I notice sooner?’ she thought angrily as she ran her fingers through Tai’s hair. Instead of the intense crying he had been doing, Tai was now only sobbing silently against Sora.
Sora blinked back tears and tried to get at least a little information out of him while he was relatively calm.
“How long has this been happening Tai?”
He didn’t look up as he answered her.
“I…I stopped eating a while ago…about nine days…” he said. “I guess I thought that I could kill myself that way, but it didn’t work…” Even though his head was turned down, Sora could still see the silent tears streaming down his face. “It should have worked…”
Sora hugged him tighter.
“I’m glad it didn’t.” she was about to the point of tears, but held them back for Tai’s sake. “I’m so glad it didn’t…I don’t know what I would do without you Tai.”
“You’d be better off if I wasn’t here Sora!” he cried out. “That…that’s why…”
“That’s why you started cutting yourself?!” Sora exclaimed in shock. “For me?!”
“Not just for you. It was for the others too. But I couldn’t even do that!” he sobbed. “Every night I would just sit somewhere away from everyone waiting to bleed to death, but it never happened.”
Sora gasped. ‘Every night?! He’s been doing this for a month!?’
“Oh, Tai…” was all she could say as her tears finally broke free of their bondage. “It’ll be okay now. Everything will be all right; I’ll help you through this. All of us will.”
“No!” Tai pushed away from her a little bit. “I don’t want you to. Why can’t you just let me die?!”
Sora didn’t even think about her response. She lunged forward and flung her arms around Tai’s neck, sobbing just as hard as he was.
“Because I love you!” She told him.
“W-what?” Tai was taken back.
“I’ve loved you for so long Tai. If you died, I would die. I just couldn’t live without you.”
“Sora.” He whispered.
“I don’t want to die right now Tai, but if you want to then I’ll follow right behind you. There’s no way I could ever be happy without being by your side.”
“Sora…” Tai said. “I don’t want you to die…I love you too…”
“Then please.” She said, her voice dropping to a whisper. “Please say that you’ll try to stay alive for me…that you’ll let us help you through this and return to that happy, energetic person that I fell in love with.”
Tai placed his arms shakily around Sora.
“I’ll try.” He told her. “I promise I’ll try as long as you love me.”
“I’ll always love you, Tai.” Sora smiled. Everything would be all right now. She and the others would help Tai get through this and they could live happily ever after.
Just then she felt Tai go limp in her arms.
“Tai!” she called to him as she pushed him away and held him at arms length.
“…S…S-Sora…”
Tai’s eyelids were fluttering, fighting to stay open. His head drooped and Sora quickly laid him down, holding his head with her arm as she checked his pulse…Very weak and thready…
Tai’s head lolled to the side. ‘What am I gonna do?’ she thought, panic-stricken. Just then Matt emerged from the forest. Upon seeing what was happening he ran up to the couple.
“Sora, what happened to him!?” Matt sounded just as panicked as she felt.
She wasn’t going to sit there and explain every detail to him.
“Just help me with him Matt. We have to get him back to camp!”
Matt stood in a daze for a minute and then complied. He placed one arm behind Tai’s back and another under his knees. Very gently, he lifted Tai from Sora’s lap.
Matt gasped as he stood up.
“What is it!?” Sora asked, also standing.
“He-He’s so light…too light…”
Sora nodded sadly.
“He hasn’t eaten for over a week…” Sora told the blond grimly.
“What?!”
There would have been a barrage of questions, but Sora quickly silenced any that could’ve come.
“We have to get him back to the others!”
Matt nodded and he and Sora started back to camp.
She looked over at Tai, literally dying in front of her. ‘Hold on…’ she pleaded to him silently. ‘Hold on…’
Matt and Sora reached camp. The others had already returned from their search.
When Matt walked up with Tai lying limply in his arms all the others gasped. Joe didn’t ask any questions. He just grabbed his bag and ran up to the spot where Matt was gently setting Tai down and began to examine him.
After a few tense minutes. Joe turned to the others.
“I think he’ll be okay.” He told the relieved group. “He’s dehydrated and suffering from sever exhaustion, but I think if he rests he’ll be alright in a few days…”
‘It’s going to take longer than that…’ Sora thought. Then she noticed that everyone was staring at her, waiting for some kind of explanation of what happened. She sighed. ‘I have to tell them now or they won’t be able to help him.’ She glanced at Kari who was looking back and forth from her brother to Sora. ‘This is going to break her heart, but she has to know…’
Sora took a deep breath and began to tell them the whole story. About Tai not eating, the cuts on his arms, wanting to die, not thinking he was a good leader….everything.
When she was through, everyone stood in shocked silence. Human and digimon alike.
“I-I don’t believe it…” Mimi squeaked out.
The others could only nod.
Joe suddenly broke away from the shock and began giving everyone orders on what to do. Assigning them to gather different things that would help with Tai’s wounds or get blankets…something useful. Soon everyone was out of the campsite except Tai and Sora.
Sora went over to Tai and placed his head on her lap. She reached over to her side and dipped a cupped hand in a nearby bowl of water. Slowly, she raised her hand to Tai’s mouth and got him to drink a little of it. She smiled and brushed the side of his face with her hand. Tai’s eyes opened the smallest bit.
Sora smiled.
“I love you.” She whispered.
“I love you too.” Tai said weakly. He managed a small smile and his eyes closed once more.
Sora ran her hand through Tai’s messy hair and then held his hand in hers. She smiled down at him. It would take a while for Tai to recover and for things to go back to normal. ‘But I’ll be right by him the whole time.’ She vowed.
Sora squeezed Tai’s hand and, although he was still sleeping, Tai squeezed back.
Sora let tears of joy wash down her face. She smiled and leaned down to Tai. She whispered something in his ear, causing him to smile, then she just sat next to him again, lovingly stroking his forehead.
Away from the forest campsite and up in the sky. A soft and comforting voice flew through the night and seemed to dance around the moon and stars. It was a promise. Three simple words that would’ve meant nothing to almost anyone who heard them. But to two people in the world they held the future, hope, and a love so deep that it could encompass the world…
“Forever and always…”
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